What is Success?


In the last six years of my career, this one word has meant so many different things. And today, I find myself still asking the same question.

Let us try to define what success is. The dictionary provides us with three definitions:


1. The favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.

2. The attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like

3. The achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted


It is my belief that the world has either forgotten or no longer accepts the third definition. Success today seems to be largely measured by your prosperity. The house you live in, the car you drive, the way you dress, and the salary you earn are considered key indicators. But does that really define success? It defines prosperity or wealth, but not success.


I am a staunch supporter of the third definition. It is the achievement of those desires that you planned or attempted. Success for each individual is unique.

When I go down memory lane, I think I have felt most successful with the pace at which I learnt tabla and the passion I developed for it. There was a tremendous sense of achievement and even fulfillment. I felt a certain contentment. I have never felt that strongly about anything else.

The other times when I have felt success full and content, have been when I set out to cook something with the intention of producing a specific taste in my memory, and then was actually able to create it!

I think people often overlook their innate abilities, and try to "succeed" using a path that may not be suited for them. In an age and time, where there are several career opportunities available, the overtly cautious mind set of most parents tends to prod their children to study medicine, law, finance or engineering.

People who get stuck with these "careers" often lack a sense of contentment in their achievements. They start defining success based on other people in that career path, instead of defining their own.

Do you know what success is for you? Spend some time and list:

1. all the things you enjoy most, and
2. the things you do not enjoy
3. the company of people you enjoy most, and why you enjoy it
4. the people whose company brings down your morale

The next step is to:

1. Try to introduce as many items from the first list into your daily routine as you can.
2. Find as many alternatives as you can find for the second list.
3. Plan to spend as much time interacting with the people on the third list as is possible
4. Minimizing your interaction with the people on the fourth list, and when you do interact with them being full of energy and positivity.

You will find that your life will be a lot more satisfying ... and in the long run it may even be success full!!

The Cost of Progress

Progress is the buzz word of the century. The whole world is making progress by leaps and bounds. People are outperforming themselves.

And yet, the people today are more discontent and unhappy than their parents and grand parents. The things that brought wonder and awe some decades ago, are common place and insignificant today.

Makes you wonder, what this mad rush for progress is all about. As a society we increased the pace of our lives many times over that of our parents and grand parents. But that pace has come at a cost. Family values are deteriorating and the individual is becoming more important that the family. Personalities are becoming more and more complex; as are our social problems.

The analogy I like to refer to is that of a rubber band. You can keep stretching it, and it will stretch, but at some point it just snaps. The pace of our lives has taken a toll on our minds.

Memory of the Present

Hold on … memory of the present …. What does that mean? How can you have a memory of the present? Isn’t a memory something of the past?

The answer to that is, Yes and No.

Yes, because we have been taught for several years that a memory is your recollection of an event, incident, situation or circumstance that has occurred in the past.

No, because as human beings we are each unique in the way we perceive everything around us. Thus, the present for each one of us is different and unique. Our past, or more importantly our memory of the past prejudices our perception of the present. Expanding the same concept a little further; the present now becomes our own unique recollection of the present. The present ceases to be an absolute term. Instead, it becomes a very personal and subjective perception unique to you. Isn’t that interesting?

So, the past and present are both very subjective to our perception and memory.

Now, if your point of reference is a time in the past, then relative to that reference point the present becomes a future state. For example on Monday, June 9, 2008, Friday, June 13, 2008 is the future. After 4 days on Friday, June 13, 2008, Monday becomes the past and Friday becomes the present.

Applying this to our conclusion the past, present and future become our individual perception or memory of the past, present and future.

The past, present and future is our entire lifetime … correct? So now our entire lifetime becomes just a perception … like a dream.

And that is precisely what Indian Philosophy has said for thousands of years: The life of the mortal in the physical world is Maya (made-up, make-believe, and imaginary).

Now, isn’t that interesting?

Your Memory and Identity

Before I actually start writing my piece, I would like to call your attention to two widely read and viewed stories: 'The Bourne Identity' and 'Anastasia'.

'The Bourne Identity', a thriller by Robert Ludlum which explores the loss of an individuals identity because of the loss of his memory. The novel narrates the adventures of this person as he attempts to discover his true identity.

'Anastasia' is the story of a woman who claimed she was Grand Duchess Anastasia: daughter of the last Czar of Russia. She never changed her claim till her death in 1974.Despite DNA testing that indicates otherwise, there are still several people who support her claim.

The underlying theme in both these cases is that of how our memory affects our identity ... or more importantly our perception of it.

It is almost as though our brain is like this data model, which when fed with some memories (data) responds with a projection of our perceived identity. The reason I say perceived identity is because it is a function of your memories. If you lose some part of your memory your perceived identity changes. Each memory you have adds some character or unique flavour to your identity. Your name is also part of your identity, but I would call that a mere pointer that is used to refer to your true identity or nature.

Think about it. How would you distinguish your identity? Would you try and define some attributes or characteristics? If you think a little more, you will see that you can actually identify a memory, from the present or past, that causes you to assign that attribute to your identity.

The Bourne Identity, though fictitious, is an excellent example of how losing your memory can cause you to lose your identity.

Anna Anderson is an excellent example of how you can strongly project and portray your identity on the basis of you memory of incidents, people, buildings, toys, etc.

I often surprise myself with the memories I have of my childhood. My oldest memory is of an aeroplane ... a fighter jet to be precise which was in the park in Roorkee. The plane was dull grey in color with the green and blue insignia of the sides. You could go into the plane, and as a child you can imagine that was quite a treat. I was about 3 years old when I last saw it. But my memory is fairly vivid of the plane standing in the park.

The interesting thing about my memories is that I have several memories between the ages of 4-10 and 15-17 that are very rich in detail. However my memories between ages 11-14 and then after 17 are not as rich in detail. I might remember the basic gist of the incident but not as many details. Memories from childhood are rich in details of the sights, sounds, colors, place, people and my perception of their emotion.

Another point of interest is that a majority of my memories which are rich is detail are generally happy memories. For e.g. my memory of the mischief I was up to one summer afternoon in Karnal, when I was all of 7 years old is quite vivid and clear. But my memory of the subsequent scolding is not. I cannot remember who it was that scolded me ... or where I was when I received that scolding. I remember I was scolded ... but not the rest.

May be someone will figure out how our brain works, how it compartmentalizes and stores information, and how it processes all that data to give us our identity.

The Secret Ingredient

Yesterday, Ina & I went to see 'Kung Fu Panda' (it is an animated movie). We both thoroughly enjoyed it. Apart from the humor and picturization, I liked the movie for another reason .... the subtle message it conveyed.

No matter who you are and where you are, if you believe yourself to be capable of something you will be able to achieve it. If you doubt yourself, you have already sowed the seeds of disappointment / defeat.

One must always remember that the most important part of the path to success is YOU !! Never doubt yourself .. if you fall ... pick yourself up .. learn and move on. Listen to all the teachings of wise people around you ... but learn to trust yourself and discern for yourself. It is important to make your own decisions, because you are the only person you knows 'you' best!

If you believe that you are luckiest person in the world, then let no one tell you otherwise. Believe in it, and soon you will see everyone else believe it too.

Man's ability to influence others with his thought, and be influenced by the thought of others, is what I believe to be the most incredible characteristic of mankind.

The secret ingredient to happiness/success is YOU.