Your Memory and Identity

Before I actually start writing my piece, I would like to call your attention to two widely read and viewed stories: 'The Bourne Identity' and 'Anastasia'.

'The Bourne Identity', a thriller by Robert Ludlum which explores the loss of an individuals identity because of the loss of his memory. The novel narrates the adventures of this person as he attempts to discover his true identity.

'Anastasia' is the story of a woman who claimed she was Grand Duchess Anastasia: daughter of the last Czar of Russia. She never changed her claim till her death in 1974.Despite DNA testing that indicates otherwise, there are still several people who support her claim.

The underlying theme in both these cases is that of how our memory affects our identity ... or more importantly our perception of it.

It is almost as though our brain is like this data model, which when fed with some memories (data) responds with a projection of our perceived identity. The reason I say perceived identity is because it is a function of your memories. If you lose some part of your memory your perceived identity changes. Each memory you have adds some character or unique flavour to your identity. Your name is also part of your identity, but I would call that a mere pointer that is used to refer to your true identity or nature.

Think about it. How would you distinguish your identity? Would you try and define some attributes or characteristics? If you think a little more, you will see that you can actually identify a memory, from the present or past, that causes you to assign that attribute to your identity.

The Bourne Identity, though fictitious, is an excellent example of how losing your memory can cause you to lose your identity.

Anna Anderson is an excellent example of how you can strongly project and portray your identity on the basis of you memory of incidents, people, buildings, toys, etc.

I often surprise myself with the memories I have of my childhood. My oldest memory is of an aeroplane ... a fighter jet to be precise which was in the park in Roorkee. The plane was dull grey in color with the green and blue insignia of the sides. You could go into the plane, and as a child you can imagine that was quite a treat. I was about 3 years old when I last saw it. But my memory is fairly vivid of the plane standing in the park.

The interesting thing about my memories is that I have several memories between the ages of 4-10 and 15-17 that are very rich in detail. However my memories between ages 11-14 and then after 17 are not as rich in detail. I might remember the basic gist of the incident but not as many details. Memories from childhood are rich in details of the sights, sounds, colors, place, people and my perception of their emotion.

Another point of interest is that a majority of my memories which are rich is detail are generally happy memories. For e.g. my memory of the mischief I was up to one summer afternoon in Karnal, when I was all of 7 years old is quite vivid and clear. But my memory of the subsequent scolding is not. I cannot remember who it was that scolded me ... or where I was when I received that scolding. I remember I was scolded ... but not the rest.

May be someone will figure out how our brain works, how it compartmentalizes and stores information, and how it processes all that data to give us our identity.